


Paradox in the woods

by justmarcialima



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bad Jokes, Based on a Tumblr Post, F/F, I saw a gifset on tumblr and was prompted by it, Ryan makes a bad joke and everybody silently judge him for it, height jokes, the doctors meet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2018-11-26
Packaged: 2019-08-29 13:51:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16745203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justmarcialima/pseuds/justmarcialima
Summary: A distress signal makes four Doctors meet in the woods.





	Paradox in the woods

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah I saw a tumblr post about it and this fanfic kinda wrote itself in my head, I apologize if its lame. I never wrote any of the other Doctor's before but since you guys usually tell me my Thirteen characterization is good so I'm just hoping to wing it with the rest of them. I threw in some thirteen/river because c'mon its me. Shout out to admiralamott on tumblr by the amazing gifset that compelled me to write this. This fanfic is for you whoever you are since we don't actually know each other. 
> 
> Please leave kudos and comments if you like and if you don't please let me live in ignorance and don't tell me lol

The Doctor had received a distress call as soon as he left Clara at her house since she claimed she needed to go to work. He was just turning around from the door when the TARDIS emitted a signal on one of her monitors and he dashed across the console room to see what it was. The distress call came with precise coordinates for an exact time in an exact place, and usually if Clara was there she would advise him to not jump into a situation he didn’t know because it could be a trap. She would remind him that he had a lot of enemies and it was best to ponder first before diving into something because it wasn’t like he could get there late since he had a time machine. 

But since Clara wasn’t there, he typed in the coordinates and adjusted his fez before jumping into the time vortex and landing in the place where the distress call came from, or at least in the overall vicinity it came from since his old girl had a mind of her own and almost never landed exactly where he wanted it. He exited his TARDIS and breathed in the air, pulling his sonic out of his pocket and doing some analysis of the place. He appeared to be in the woods, near a clearing – where he should have landed - somewhere during the Middle Ages in Europe. Satisfied that he was at least in the right coordinates, he began his walk to the clearing that it wasn’t that far away from where he landed. As he neared his destination, he bumped into someone that was coming distractedly from his right. As he looked up after straightening up he came face to face with himself. Or rather, the old version of himself, the one with the spiky hair and the ridiculous sideburns. 

The man in front of him frowned at his face and gasped as they said in unison: 

“YOU?! AGAIN?!” They yelled at each other pointing at one another. 

“What are you doing here?” The older version of him asked as he straightened his tie. 

“Following a distress signal.” He said as they walked to the clearing together. Although they had met before, it was still incredibly weird to be meeting your older self, not the mention the paradox. They should keep touching to a minimum. 

“Same as me.” He responded. “I’m kinda tired of bumping into you.” 

“This is only the second time!” He exclaimed. 

They would start to bicker but an older gentleman with fluffy and grey hair appeared at the clearing seemingly out of nowhere. He was wearing a white button up and clothes that reminded them of a magician, with a coat that had a red lining in it. He gave one glance at them and frowned. 

“Oh no.” He muttered in a Scottish accent and they stared at each other, all knowing very well that they were different versions of the same person and all knowing that for the other to be alive they had to be essentially dead in the future. It was enough to confuse the minds of lesser men. “Chin and hair. It’s nice to meet you officially.” He said as he unwillingly walked closer. 

“Why did we turn so old?” The Doctor with the bowtie asked in shock and the grey haired Doctor glared at him. He had angry eyebrows so it wasn’t that difficult to glare. The Doctor with the sideburns thought the grey haired Doctor had a punk vibe about him that he liked a lot. 

He was going to respond to the question when they heard a female voice shouting from the distance in a heavy northern accent. They all turned around from where the voice and the footsteps – more than one - were coming. 

“The distress signal came from here!” The voice yelled as she burst through the woods into the clearing, sonic screwdriver in hand quite dramatically and companions in tow. She stopped dead in her tracks as she gasped and tried to hide her sonic behind her. “Whoops.” She mutters to herself as she sees the three men standing there with their jaws almost on the floor as they looked at her. 

She raises her other hand – the one not holding her sonic – and waves at them as she smiles awkwardly. “Hi.”

They stare silently at each other for a minute as her companions look confusedly at each other when The Doctor with the bowtie finally breaks the silence in an undignified shriek. “You are a girl?” She nods. “Am I a girl?” She shrugs. “We are a girl now.” He looks at the men beside him. Her Eleventh Regeneration looked half in panic and half in wonder. 

Her companions muttered in unison a “WHAT” and the Doctor turns to them with what she hoped was a reassuring smile. “Fam, these are my past selves. Remember when I told you that I used to be a white haired Scotsman? Well I wasn’t joking.” 

“WHAT?” They sounded even more horrified now. 

“You see, I am my 14th regeneration. Which means, I kinda died fourteen times already give or take officially, but I'm the 13th Doctor because one of us dropped the title. It's a long story.” She winced as she looked at them with an apologetic face. “These are respectively my tenth, eleventh and twelfth regenerations. And yes this is my first time being a woman.” 

While they waited for the information to sink in the humans brain, Tenth asked with a frown. “Wait, but you just mentioned him?” He points at Twelfth. “What about the rest of us?” 

She rolled her eyes and she approached them. “Yeah well, he’s fresher on my memory. This isn’t important right now, are we all here because of the distress call?” 

They all nod. 

“This paradox is starting to give me a headache.” Twelfth sighed. “We aren’t supposed to meet each other and every second we spent together makes it more dangerous.”

“And there are four of us now.” Tenth says. “More than it ever was, our record used to be three.” 

“Wait a minute!” Yaz said as she walked towards the bickering Time Lords, Ryan and Graham right behind her. “Are you saying you actually used to be these three different men?” She glances at the Doctor. 

“Yes, it’s a Gallifreyen thing.” She says as she places her hands on her hips. 

“Oh wow.” Eleventh mutters fascinated as he looks down at her. “You’re really short, you look like a character from Gulliver’s travels.” 

They all chuckle as she gasps, mildly offended. “Oi!” She taps his chest with her pointed finger and smacks away his fez from his head as he gasps. Twelfth laughs even harder at the display as Tenth looks very impressed. 

They were all a bit distracted when they heard a voice behind them that made all of them stop and turn around at the same time. 

“Hello sweeties.” 

Ryan, Yaz and Graham could observe that although they were wildly different from each other, both physically and even personally – with a few shared traits because they were still the same person – they all looked at the woman the same way. With fondness in their eyes and a little bit of sadness. Tenth, Twelfth and their Doctor looked sadder than Eleventh. And the love in their eyes was built in different ways but it was there anyways. 

The woman had curly and full blond hair and her green eyes looked dangerous and mischievous. Her lips were painted red and were curled in a smirk that promised both wonders and chaos. She was wearing a black shirt with a deep cleavage, black leather jacket and tight fitting skinny jeans with high heeled boots. She had two guns strapped to her hips and that made Yaz, Ryan and Graham instantly cautious. 

“I must have known.” Twelfth smiled as he looked at her. He looked like he was seeing a ghost and his eyes were a bit misty. 

“If there’s trouble, it must be River.” Eleventh said in a fond tone of voice. 

They all gave a step forward at the same time but Thirteenth stopped them by raising her arm. “Excuse me, I have preference. I haven’t met her yet in this body.” 

“You’re really bossy now, did you know?” Tenth says. 

“Well, I’m a lot shorter now so I’m compensating.” 

Ryan snickers and mutters. “Shortness isn’t the only thing you’re compensating.” As soon as he jokes, Yaz smacks him on the side of the head and the Doctors glare at him, minus Thirteenth and Eleventh who looks mildly confused by the joke. 

Then the Doctor just shrugs and goes running to her wife, enveloping her in a big hug as they all watch. They pull away from the hug directly into a heated kiss that makes even the slyest of Doctors blush a little bit. 

“Is it weird that I’m jealous of myself right now?” Eleventh asks.

“I’m not jealous; I just find it funny that we’re shorter than River now.” Tenth smiles. 

“Don’t talk about her height, she’s sensitive about it now.” Twelfth mutters. 

“And we’re still not ginger!” Eleventh exclaimed.


End file.
